Introduction To Friendship
As I sat listening to the Priest on a Sunday morning, he explained how he was posted to a parish catholic church filled with Egoistic and pompous educated me. In his bid to avoid conflict and troubles, he decided to avoid friendship, food and money. He explained, “…this is how we entice other people for manipulation.” Then I wondered, “is friendship a form of manipulation?”
One day I sat on a chair for reflection after my long depression that kept coming back, I asked myself, “why do I go to church? Why do I worship God?” It dawned on me that the genesis of my depression was the inability of Almighty God to answer my prayers. I couldn’t figure out how the Almighty God couldn’t do a simple thing that I asked/begged him. This made me angry, sad, frustrated, blemish and fell into a three billion feet hole of depression. It was so painful that I hardly enjoyed my life…(Depression is a painful experience that doesn’t make any sense after all). I then realized that I am only interested in what I will gain from God. As funny as this sounds, this is why many Christians go to church and pray. We want an amazing friendship with God, for our selfish gains and desires. [Read “Why I am not a Christian by Bertrand Russell”]
In my country, Nigeria, many of us broke men avoid relationships like leprosy and cancer. Simple! The selfish and self-centred attitude of most girls/women in Nigeria masquerading themselves as good and honest while clamouring for their personal interests. This form of friendship (Relationship) centres on what the guy has to offer. Some of their attitudes mostly centre on how the guy in the friendship or otherwise, will solve her personal problems.
This always revolves around financial solutions and the ability of all her problems to disappear in a matter of seconds. This quote always comes from most of them, “my man must have six cars and six-packs before he proposes”. Why? So that they as “Queens” will do nothing but enjoy the hard work of most men. Congratulations to most women/girls in Nigeria. They don’t lack slaves, most men will sacrifice themselves for their approval. This is why I like them the most; they are always confident in their choices.
As a Catholic, we pray through the saints and holy people. I think one of the reasons is to make friends with these saints and holy people of God. Their friendship with us will foster a way of having God answer our prayers in the shortest time possible. I made some assumptions: (1) God may be busy. (2) Jesus Christ may accept my prayers very fast through them. (3) The saints will appease them on my behalf. Why won’t they? I’m not on Earth praying through them? (4) I believe that they have sinned on earth and later gotten to glory; they will help through our friendship.
I remember when I was a little boy. I always like people who buy nice things for me and abhors people who don’t have anything to give me. Wow! Friendship manipulation is very real. Now that I am an adult, I discovered that many people are far more interested in what you have to offer them. How can they achieve this? It is simple – assuming friendship. So I ask, “is friendship not a form of manipulation?” Have you ever read the salesmen advice? Salesmen advise newbies to focus on what people need and offer them that. This is because one must satisfy peoples’ selfish desires in order to become real friends with them. Many people take shits from people they don’t like, assuming friendship in order to get their own selfish desires met.
Politics And Connections
As an introvert, my parents sometimes hate me for not having many friends for manipulation. In Nigeria politics, once someone fails to meet expectations from political friends, the person automatically becomes “stupid”, “bad”, “selfish”, any bad word you can come up with. 90% of us in Nigeria are financially corrupt, but we always blame a few people in government. If only a few people in government are corrupt, how come Nigeria has refused to develop since inception? Our politics friends and connections are for our manipulative desires while criticizing some other people who refuse our manipulative friendship.
Why Do We Choose Friendship Over Love?
The only rule of life is LOVE. Love for people we like; love for people we hate; in fact, love for everybody on earth. But as I look around, I see humans hating one another, wars and strife, poverty and hunger caused by a few bunches of people. Misery and pain inflicted on people for selfish pleasures of life. Love is truly a mirage in reality. We, humans, have craftily chosen friendship over the ultimate rule on earth. We are all selfish and self-centred, this is part of being a human being on earth.
Avoidance Of Suffering Through Friendship
How could it be easy for us to settle for the best without work? We mostly fantasize a life filled with bliss, goodness, favour and happiness. But on the contrary, we face problems caused by some of us, everywhere. In fact, I once declared: “Life is problems and evil as a responsible adult.” “Nigeria is hellfire! Nigeria is a frustrating country to live in.” God doesn’t like us that he threw us down to earth to suffer. And wonderfully, he gave us his arch-enemy, Satan, to live here with us here on Earth.”
A quick check on some multi-billionaires, millionaires and successful people will show that 95% of them suffer a lot. Some may think that working 15 hrs or more every day is fun until you have a wonderful project that takes your 10 hrs daily. Work is no fun, but it is the way to survive,
But I discovered, Buddha and Jesus Christ [Two great people to walk on this earth] faced suffering. In fact, it was the many sufferings they face that made them great. So, in a way to avoid suffering and enjoy an easy lifestyle, we choose friendship filled with manipulation and self-centred attitude. While parading ourselves as lovable and caring creatures.